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the blog & podcast to help you live joyfully

We provide inspiration, wisdom, and courage. Cor Domum helps you navigate through life so that you can parent with joy.

Fun Facts about Fatherhood (+ A Gift Guide Based on Love Languages)

6/9/2017

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I've started this post at least 23423 times. That's an accurate count too. 

What can I say about fatherhood that hasn't already been said? 

It's no shocker to learn that our society struggles with fatherhood and masculinity. Think of this: when a woman is with her children, she is mothering them. When a father is with his kids, he is "babysitting." How often have you heard that?  We are quick to label fathers as dead beats or softies or hands-off. So in an effort to show some of the Daddies some love for father's day, I thought I'd share some fun facts about fatherhood. 

Fun facts about fatherhood
  • For obvious reasons, there is a huge focus on the mother-child bond and how that bond affects a child. But Dad's can have that same hormonal-emotional connection.  Mothers and babies bond through oxytocin released during breastfeeding, but a 2010 study proved that Dads can get this same boost of oxytocin (the love hormone) from PLAYING with their babies. Pretty cool! 
  • A study from  Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences revealed that fatherhood leads to a decrease in testosterone in males... testosterone is the "macho" hormone.  As a result, fathers tend to be less aggressive and angry than their non-father counterparts. 
  • The Journal of Early Adolescence published a study that showed that teens demonstrate more of the perseverance level of their fathers rather than their mothers.

How to show fathers some lovin' 

I've written many, many times about the book The Five Love Languages... and this is another prime example of when to use it. Because let's face it.. not all dads like power tools and neck ties. And someone so important deserves a gift that shows a little love and attention. 

If Dad's love language is acts of services, then doing (rather than giving) will fill up his love tank. 
  • Mow the lawn FOR him this weekend. 
  • Ask Dad "what can I do FOR you this weekend?" 
  • Do his share of the family chores 
If Dad's love language is words of affirmation, 
  • Tell him you love him... do you say those words enough? 
  • Create a handwritten card 
  • Love letter to your spouse sharing what you love about his fathering 
If Dad's love language is receiving gifts, 
  • Think about what he REALLY likes... It's okay if really does like power tools, but don't just buy a power tool because the home improvement stores tells you that's what dads like 
  • For naturally-minded dads, make your own beard oil for him.  Short on time? Check out one of these top-rated beard oils instead! 
  • For the foodie dad, gift a subscription to a meal service. Purple Carrot is a plant-based meal subscription service, but just because it's plant-based doesn't mean that athletic or active dads suffer.  Their TB12 plan offers performance-boosting, protein-backed meals.  Use PROMO CODE "purple20" to save 20% your first order. 
  • For a Dad always on the road, consider giving him a diffuser bracelet.  Add lavender oil to help Dad keep his cool while battling rush hour traffic. WANDRESScreations offers custom diffuser bracelets.  Let Dad feel like the Eye of Tiger with this bracelet. It's totally okay if you're singing Eye of the Tiger now. 
  • If you get Dad a diffuser, stock up on some manly scents: Balance or vetiver are good choices. 
If Dad's love language is quality time, 
  • Plan an outing doing one of his favorite activities: golfing, hiking, biking, rock climbing, baking, cooking... whatever is Dad's passion find a way to make a whole day of it 
  • You don't need to spend thousands of dollars on a weekend getaway (but you know... you totally can if you want to!) Plan a day trip around your town doing the "touristy" things in your own town.
  • Play a board game 
  • Play ball in the yard 
  • Play your own game of Chopped in the kitchen 
If physical touch is Dad's love language, 
  • Hold his hand while on a walk 
  • Massage his feet 
  • GIVE HIM A HUG! 
What are you doing for your dad this father's day? Comment below! 
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Gentle Parenting Myth #4: Gentle Parenting is Only For the Mamas

1/4/2017

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When I was a new mother, just learning the hang of breastfeeding and mothering in general, a well-intentioned stranger told me that I should just use formula to make sure that "Dad shares some of the duties." I let it slide, not knowing what to say, but later that night, I couldn't shake the comment. Her comment implied two things: that I had to do it all and that my husband was a lazy participant in our child's life. But those implications were far from true. 

During those early weeks of my son's life, I rarely had to change a diaper in the middle of the night. Before a middle-of-the-night feeding, my dutiful husband would wake up and change the diaper.  Eventually as we adjusted to this life, the middle of the night diaper changes slowed down, but the point remains. Moms don't have to do it all, and Dads don't have to stick to the sidelines.
Regardless of what parenting style you choose and how you implement those teachings, parenting is no more for the mamas than the daddies. It is a team effort. Sure, there are some things that a dad cannot do (hello, breastfeeding!), but a dad can lovingly feed a bottle (breast milk or formula) to his own baby.

End gender stereotypes 

My husband continues to demonstrate his dedication to being an AP (Attachment Parenting) Dad. 
  • Snuggling and cuddling our older son to sleep each night (In fact, when I weaned my boy, it was my hubby that completely took over bedtime duty.)
  • He's been known to sport the ergo carrier... even while spelunking! 
  • Supporting, practicing, and promoting co-sleeping 
  • Dedication to practicing gentle discipline 
  • Invested interest in enriching his parenting knowledge through books (aka Audible) 
  • He parents ... he doesn't "babysit" 
Don't let anyone tell you that Attachment Parenting is for the weak or the mamas. It's more than just "parenting tips" - it has transformed our life. 
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    About Katie

    Wife & Mama with a passion for peaceful parenting, natural living, homeschooling... and my daily café au lait.

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