I've started this post at least 23423 times. That's an accurate count too. 

What can I say about fatherhood that hasn't already been said? 

It's no shocker to learn that our society struggles with fatherhood and masculinity. Think of this: when a woman is with her children, she is mothering them. When a father is with his kids, he is "babysitting." How often have you heard that?  We are quick to label fathers as dead beats or softies or hands-off. So in an effort to show some of the Daddies some love for father's day, I thought I'd share some fun facts about fatherhood. 

Fun facts about fatherhood

• For obvious reasons, there is a huge focus on the mother-child bond and how that bond affects a child. But Dad's can have that same hormonal-emotional connection.  Mothers and babies bond through oxytocin released during breastfeeding, but a 2010 study proved that Dads can get this same boost of oxytocin (the love hormone) from PLAYING with their babies. Pretty cool! 
• A study from  Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences revealed that fatherhood leads to a decrease in testosterone in males... testosterone is the "macho" hormone.  As a result, fathers tend to be less aggressive and angry than their non-father counterparts. 
• The Journal of Early Adolescence published a study that showed that teens demonstrate more of the perseverance level of their fathers rather than their mothers.

I've written many, many times about the book The Five Love Languages... and this is another prime example of when to use it. Because let's face it.. not all dads like power tools and neck ties. And someone so important deserves a gift that shows a little love and attention. 

If Dad's love language is acts of services, then doing (rather than giving) will fill up his love tank. 

• Mow the lawn FOR him this weekend. 
• Ask Dad "what can I do FOR you this weekend?" 
• Do his share of the family chores 

If Dad's love language is words of affirmation, 

• Tell him you love him... do you say those words enough? 
• Create a handwritten card 
• Love letter to your spouse sharing what you love about his fathering 

If Dad's love language is receiving gifts, 

• Think about what he REALLY likes... It's okay if really does like power tools, but don't just buy a power tool because the home improvement stores tells you that's what dads like 
• For naturally-minded dads, make your own beard oil for him.  Short on time? Check out one of these top-rated beard oils instead! 
• For the foodie dad, gift a subscription to a meal service. Purple Carrot is a plant-based meal subscription service, but just because it's plant-based doesn't mean that athletic or active dads suffer.  Their TB12 plan offers performance-boosting, protein-backed meals.  Use PROMO CODE "purple20" to save 20% your first order. 
• For a Dad always on the road, consider giving him a diffuser bracelet.  Add lavender oil to help Dad keep his cool while battling rush hour traffic. WANDRESScreations offers custom diffuser bracelets.  Let Dad feel like the Eye of Tiger with this bracelet. It's totally okay if you're singing Eye of the Tiger now. 
• If you get Dad a diffuser, stock up on some manly scents: Balance or vetiver are good choices. 

If Dad's love language is quality time, 

• Plan an outing doing one of his favorite activities: golfing, hiking, biking, rock climbing, baking, cooking... whatever is Dad's passion find a way to make a whole day of it 
• You don't need to spend thousands of dollars on a weekend getaway (but you know... you totally can if you want to!) Plan a day trip around your town doing the "touristy" things in your own town.
• Play a board game 
• Play ball in the yard 
• Play your own game of Chopped in the kitchen 

If physical touch is Dad's love language, 

• Hold his hand while on a walk 
• Massage his feet 
• GIVE HIM A HUG! 

What are you doing for your dad this father's day? Comment below! 

It's tempting to try to rush through meal prep in order to get food on the table. I get it. I know dinner (or lunch or breakfast) can be stressful. (Read this post for reducing meal time stress.)  We all know that eating together is important but actually cooking together can be an opportunity for bonding too!  If you can slow down (just a little bit) and invite your kids into the kitchen, you not only get a chance to chat, but you have a valuable teaching opportunity to impart your culinary and nutrition wisdom on your kids.

The key is to start simple.  Use a simple recipe and hand over the reigns.  The recipe above is easy and even my littles can do almost the entire recipe without help. 

Tips for using cooking as a bonding tool

• Instruct without micromanaging: They won't be perfect banana mashers the first time, and that's okay. You want to teach them without squashing their spirit.
  
• Accept that perfection won't happen over night: Cooking is a skill. Let them learn as they go. One day they'll be able to crack a perfect egg, but it might be a little messy until then.
  
• Ask questions: Engage their minds. "Why do you think we add cinnamon?" "What is your favorite part about cooking?" Ask non-cooking questions too - about their day at school, etc.
  
• Teach good nutrition: Especially for younger children, explain how the food you are preparing heals and fuels their body.
  

How do you use food and cooking as a bonding tool?  What are your favorite recipes to cook with your kids? Comment below!

Parenting in the modern world is unnecessarily cluttered with distractions and multitasking. Unfortunately–despite all the current advances and technology of our time–no one has yet to invent the SuperMom pill. (Don’t worry, I’m working on it.) So, in the meantime, you have to prioritize with intention, or the important things (people) will become neglected and…well…less important. Please, read on if you interested in some ideas on how to simplify your life and focus on family.
Now, don’t get me wrong…it’s definitely a work in progress, not a level of achievement. (Once again, there will be no trophy or medal ceremony for this act of parental amazingness. Sorry.) Almost every day, I  set my intentions and work very hard to keep my life as simple as possible, filling it with only what is loved or needed. But it’s still hard, sometimes, and I have to struggle to keep my focus and priorities on what is most important–my family.

“So what do you suggest we do, EB?”
Here are some ideas I’ve implemented to be the most intentional–and the least distracted– mom I can be, so I can focus on family. I don’t feel like I’ll ever arrive at complete success in this category…because I am imperfectly human, after all. I give you, dear readers, permission to set the bar really low as you start off on your personal quest.  (You’re welcome.)

How to Simplify Your Life so you can Focus on Family: 5 Great Tips

1. Make a list of your top priorities.
You may want to review or edit your list often, every day if necessary. My priority list is titled “Focus on Family”. Then I have daily To-Do lists in order of priority. My lists are in the “notes” section of my iPhone, which syncs with my apple computer. I usually have one other the other within my reach at all times. Other people do it differently, but you must write it down and keep your lists with you wherever you go.

Do you have a hard time saying “no” or put others before you and your family? (This is you if you have a nurturer, giver, people pleaser or empathic personality.) You may want to start with a less specific to-do list or wish list that you keep on your phone or planner, then make the priority list every day to keep your daily routine focused and simplified.
I try to work on a daily list at bedtime, so I can go to sleep knowing my intentions are set for the next day. Sometimes I do it on a lazy, weekend morning when I’m not in a time crunch and I can plan ahead.
​
I don’t know about you all, but I am much more productive when I’m busy. And I lost at least half of my memory and thinking skills when my daughter was born. (It’s a terminal illness every parent has to live with, I know.) So, the fleeting thought of “Well…hmmm…I don’t really have to do anything… right now…” actually sets off a ping of anxiety in my stomach. I must be forgetting something really important! (Hence, the lists.)

2. Spend money wisely.
Stick to your budget! Prioritize–and be very intentional about–your purchases. Ask yourself, “Is this something we really need? Do we already have something that serves the same purpose? Will this make my life more simple? Will this help me focus on my family?”

I almost always regret impulse buys and material purchases that aren’t fulfilling . Do I really need another cute skirt in my closet with the tags on it? I definitely don’t need a new sparkly iPhone case that won’t really protect my phone when I already bought a $90 Lifeproof case that is working quite well.  

I’m terrible about returning things, so they sit around the house, reminding me of my bad decisions. And if I just keep on driving past that yummy taco shop (eyes forward!), we can save family time, money and calories eating at home, together.  

I could write a lot more about spending money with intention, but I want you, dear readers, to implement this concept in ways that resonate with you. If you are focused on family and keeping your life simple, you may find that it’s not that hard to pass up on a lot of unfulfilling and unnecessary purchases.

3. Be more efficient. 
A.K.A– “Don’t waste your precious time”.  Busy parents barely have time every day for the necessary tasks, why crazify (yep, my new word–do you like it?) your day even more with inefficiencies?  Leaving the house to run only one errand? Stopping at a fast-food joint when you are on your way home from the grocery store? Playing CandyCrush for 45 minutes straight at your daughter’s therapy appointment? Scandalous! 

Do we really need to see everything that everyone is doing every day on Facebook? Just because you want to stay in touch with 300 of your best friends from childhood or college, doesn’t mean they all have to be on your news feed. You can just click over to their page when you are thinking about them, right? That’s easy enough. I’m guessing about 95-99% of the posts on my news feed are not more important or more meaningful that the parts of my life I’m neglecting when I’m mindlessly scrolling through.

Now don’t get me wrong. We all need some brainless distractions to maintain a barely functional level of sanity.   But our “mental breaks” on social distractions are actually complicating our lives and minds with unnecessary clutter, making it harder to focus on what’s really important.
Have you ever tried to decrease your data plan for a month or “unplug” your social media sources for a day? You’d be surprised how much more time you have. If that’s sounds totally impossible to you, would you try setting a timer to limit your time on Facebook or Pinterest?

Your kids may even notice how much more attention they are getting from you. (Attention=less whining, right?) You significant other might even notice how much more relaxed you are by the end of the day. Make sure you have your list of priorities handy to keep you from feeling bored (Ha!) or anxious.

4. Purge the unnecessaries.
This applies to not only material items, but activities, habits, and people who don’t mesh with your intention to simplify your life and focus on family. Learn to say “no” if something is asked of you that doesn’t fit this purpose.  You may find that you have more time and energy to say “yes” to more things that bring you happiness, like quality time with your family, or doing something for yourself. (Totally foreign concept, I know.)
Appreciate what you have. Get rid of what you don’t need.  Clutter and baggage contribute to your underlying stress and anxiety, even though you don’t really consciously “see it.”

Don’t focus on what you think you need or want. You might be surprised what you can cross off your To-Do or wish list using this frame of mind.

5.Breathe and listen.
Conscious, intentional deep breathing  can really  help you recharge and maintain the energy and focus you need to get through the day.
It only takes ten breaths in through your nose, filling up your belly (not your chest) to reset your body’s resting, relaxed state. With 10 intentional diaphragmatic (belly) breaths, you can lower your heart rate, blood pressure, stress levels, anxiety, and pain, to name a few. Try this while trying to fall asleep, sitting at a stop light, or on the toilet, (because sometimes that’s the only free time we can get, right?). 

When you have a little more time, go outside, sit or lay comfortably and close your eyes.  Pay attention to the sounds and sensations surrounding you, that you normally wouldn’t even notice. Listen to the birds and leaves in the trees.  Feel the air on your skin and your breath inside your nose. Let your muscles melt into the surface with each exhale…..

Hey! Wake up!! 
That’s all for now.  It’s time for me to find something healthy for dinner. I hope this post at least jump starts your intention to simplify your life so you can focus on your family.  Thanks so much for reading! Do you have some other suggestions? I could use some fresh ideas and old reminders, myself.  It’s easy to let life get ahead of us, but it’s not too hard to reel it back in! Share your thoughts below!

Create and maintain family traditions
Family traditions are more than just routines. Family traditions are the special memories that make families different and special in their own way. Having family traditions also helps children feel included and part of the family.

Get involved with a charity 
For many people, charity is a direct reflection of their own inner values. Where we choose to donate (time, talent, or money) says a lot about ourselves. Teach your children the value of giving and you will experience the truth behind the quote "Happiness is found in serving others."

Get outside
The great outdoors offers so much to us, so it's no surprise that heading outdoors can help strengthen can help create stronger family bonds. Benefits include: natural mood boost, vitamin D dose, and reduction of ADHD symptoms. 

To learn more about how nature can boost your mood, read this blog post.

Quality and Quantity Time
We've all heard about the importance of quality time. That is, time spent one-on-one without multitasking, checking Facebook, or with our face buried in a phone. But the REALLY happy families? They don't believe in quality over quantity. It takes quality AND quantity time to forge those rock solid bonds. 

For more on quality vs quantity, tune in to this podcast episode.

Make family meals a priority 
Studies continually show the importance of family meals on children's self-esteem levels, emotional intelligence, and attachment to the family.

Do you have a picky eater? Don't worry, family meals can still be peaceful. Try these tips.

What things make your family happier? Comment below!

"Mama, can you hand me my water please!"

My oldest was buried in blankets and his water cup was close to the couch, but far enough away that it required a de-blanketing. 

I was super comfy and cozy, all snuggled in a blanket across the room from him.  I looked over at my husband, and he was just as cozy in the recliner.   Yet, he stood up and handed the cup to my oldest. As my husband walked back to his spot on the recliner, he asked "How much is too much?" I knew what he meant. How much do you attend to your kids before you are "spoiling" them? 

Sure, we could have handled that simple request in a myriad of different ways. 

• "It's so close. You can reach it." 
• "No."
• "You are capable."
• "If I get your water, you'll just be spoiled."
• "What do I look like? A servant?"

​But we didn't. 

Disclaimer: I hate the word "spoiled." Kids can't be spoiled. They can, however, be lacking in manners due to missed teaching opportunities. Kids don't automatically know not to take things for granted. Kids must be taught to say the words THANK YOU so we must also teach them to have an appreciate, generous heart. 

Back to the story, the more I pondered on my husband's question, I realized that this is where I differ with mainstream society. Much of society forces the idea of a totally independent child. But here's the thing: we are not meant to be completely independent of another human. We are social beings who rely on each other. Even now in my adulthood, I rely on my husband for so much - and vice verse. 

I do not want my children to become aloof adults incapable of doing anything for themselves. No. However, I do want them to know how to LOVE others by SERVING them. 

In the 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman reveals that one love language is indeed acts of service. You show love by serving others. Think about it. Just this weekend my husband showed his love by finishing a time-consuming project on his honey-do list. 

Serving children teaches them how to serve others. Serving others leads to loving others.  Loving others leads to a more fulfilled life. More fulfilled lives leads to happiness. Service leads to happiness. 

As my husband and I chatted about how serving is in fact a teaching tool, we decided to make some tea. If I hadn't already been convinced about my dedication to serving my children, my tea bag made the point for me. 

​How do you teach your children to serve others? How do you serve your children?  Comment below!

I told my crying, overtired baby that I wasn't a great mom today but tomorrow I'll be better.
 
It was a "shot day" for my 15 month old son, so off to the doctor we went. Afterwards we dropped him off at his grandparents like we do every Tuesday. When I picked him up that afternoon I was thinking that I really needed to give him some one-on-one attention ... then I got an email for a last minute webinar so I watched it while he played. I put him in his high chair, fed him dinner and took a call from a friend I wanted to catch up with. Before I knew it he was having to visibly show me it was time for him to go to bed. Most days I'm patient and attentive but on this day I told my crying, overtired baby that I wasn't a great mom today but I'd be better tomorrow. And you know what, I'm still a great mom. I'm still enough.
 
I don't doubt myself. Do I think I do everything perfectly? No, not even close. But that's not what I think makes a great mom, or a great anything for that matter.
 
I don't know the true definition of perfection but I do know what it is not. Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as striving to do your best and it is NOT self-improvement. Perfectionism is really just the quickest path to anxiety, depression and life paralysis. I struggle a bit (or a lot) with bouts of depression in the winter. And typically by February I'm really having to work hard to keep myself peaceful and healthy, so this winter I've found my cure... I'm still running and walking outside even though I don't like the cold. And here is the best part, it was doctor prescribed!
 
To equip the stroller for these winter excursions I've got all the goods: a wool seat cover to keep him nice and toasty, all the winter clothing he can fit, and even a weather shield to encompass the entire stroller. Someone actually scolded me for taking my child out in the cold for my own selfish reasons. For the record, not one part of his body was bothered by the cold. In fact, when I took him out of the stroller his back was sweaty. This exchange did not for one second make me question my parenting. It did, however, make me question our society. 
 
We live in a society that has a really, really long list of unwritten rules. Bylaws that we live by because we are "supposed" to. The way you are supposed to live, work, look, be and the things you are supposed to have. What are the consequences of breaking those rules... nothing.
 
We are paralyzed by the fear that everyone else may not approve.  We're missing the mark. In my opinion (and I think it's a good one) the only thing you are supposed to do is to live a wholehearted life. Whatever you do: do it wholeheartedly. Whatever you want to be: be it wholeheartedly. In the spirit of this holiday season I urge you to take a vow with me. Vow to give up the ever illusive perfect life and start living wholeheartedly. I promise you that I will always support you in that. There will be days that you did it all really, really well and then there will be days that you put your crying, overtired baby to bed and tell him you weren't a great parent today but tomorrow you'll do better. And you'll still be great.
 
You'll still be enough. 
 
Sweat & Smiles,
Melissa

It's okay to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. (Even the sanctimommies.) 

In life (and ESPECIALLY in parenting), it's easy to be hard on ourselves for mistakes... to obsess over them.  After all, those little people that we are responsible for? Our mistakes affect them. Our mistakes can hurt them. 

But don't forget that you are human too. 

You are ever learning and ever growing. 

The next time you make a mistake, don't dwell on it.

• Admit your mistake to your family...this may be hard conversation to have, but this teaches children a profound lesson about pride and the power of a (sincere) apology. 
• Think about what went wrong. Did you yell because you were hangry? Did you neglect your own lunch in a rush to get housework done? Or were were snappy because you were rushing trying to get all of the errands done before dinner? Think about what you can do different or better next time. 
• Ask forgiveness. It really does help heal the heart and rekindle an emotional connection. 

Look for an accountability partner: a spouse, an mom friend on the internet, a sibling or other relative. Sometimes just talking about mistakes and shortcomings helps make overcoming them easier. 

What do you do when you make a mistake? How do you keep your mistakes from dampening the joy in your life?

What do you want to be when you grow up?
The age old question, plaguing everyone from decades.  It's a big deal to try and think about your future self when you're only 5. Yet, children do not hesitate. They share their lofty goals with great enthusiasm. When I was in Kindergarten, my teacher asked us this question. While my best friend wrote veterinarian (she's now a nurse practitioner), I wrote down "Mommy." Even in college, I had a hard time deciding on a major because what I really wanted to was to be at home raising a brood of babies. But life went on. and I graduated with an English degree.

In 2012, I finally earned my title of Mama - a job that I cherish with my whole heart and soul. Yet.... yet... as much as I have thrown my all into motherhood, I know the importance of "Me Time" and how burnout is a real threat. It's a lot of work to be needed 24/7, and as the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Recharging yourself makes you better able to parent with patience, compassion, love, and empathy. When I'm short on me time, I'm crankier and way less patient. Even if I steal a quick 10 minutes, I'm already in a mentally better place.  Self-care is critical to a healthy mind, body, and soul.

Eat breakfast first
We all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it can also be the most neglected. When I'm busy getting breakfasts ready for my boys, it's easy for me to put my own breakfast last. By the time, I've fed and cleaned up the boys, I find myself already running low. I've started to prioritize my breakfast and eat first, which helps me to me more calm during the breakfast rush. Even a quick mug of coffee and a cup of yogurt takes me a long way and helps me feel ready to tackle the day.

Read
Reading is a great way to recharge. Before I had kids, I could devour a novel in a weekend, but my personal reading time has decreased dramatically. I know I feel mentally stimulated after reading, so I try my best to fit it into my schedule.  I have the Kindle app on my phone as well as a Kindle Fire.  I like reading on the Kindle Fire because it has an orange light which does not interfere with sleep, so I can read in bed at night.  Exercising your brain is a great form of self-care.

Hobby
Finding time to cultivate your hobby is one of the hardest ways to recharge because there is frequently a larger time commitment involved. One way my husband and I keep our hobbies is to schedule it in. Some days, he'll take the kids and I can have my time to read, paint, or my favorite, take a bubble bath. Other days, I'll take the kiddos and he has the whole house to blast music and create art. Whatever your hobby is, finding ways to keep it will help you feel "like you" which of course, will recharge you.

Wash your face
This might seem like a no-brainer but a quick face wash can rejuvenate you. As I transition from an afternoon of chasing and wrangling the boys, I often change my clothes and wash my face before beginning the evening routine. It's a quick thing but really helps to recharge me a little. For parents working outside of the home, this is a great time to shift from "work mode" to "home mode." Changing into comfy clothes automatically relaxes you.

Music
Music is mood food! When I need a boost, I frequently turn to music to help.  If I'm feeling stressed, I am quick to turn on the Celtic Spa Radio.  If I'm feeling a bit down, I turn on the upbeat music. If I'm feeling artistic, I let the Indie folk music flow through the house. This is the easiest way to recharge because I just have to turn on the radio and let the music do the work.

What is your favorite way to recharge? Comment below!

Love is not an emotion. (Joy is an emotion and many people do experience joy as a result of love.)

Love is an action - a decision to "will the good of another." Because love is an action, that also means that love (and consequently any and all relationships) require work. But... family life is busy. Between the constant needs of children, the demands of work, the unending household chores... how can you maintain the relationships you cherish? Of course, you show love to you family when do you things like feed them nourishing food or clean their clothes, but sometimes you need a little bit more than that to really keep those connections strong. Here are four tips to strengthen any relationship - spouse, child, or even a friend. 

Always tell the truth 
This one might seem obvious, but there's no quicker relationship damper than a lie. It's not always easy nor pleasant but having an open line of communication with your spouse is a guaranteed way to strengthen the relationship. Working through difficult situations can actually become a source of renewal in a relationship but only if the journey is not dotted with lies. 

For children, reassuring them of your love can help keep lying at bay. Telling lies can become a self-preservation mechanism if s/he thinks love will be withdrawn. A few weeks ago, I noticed my son had an accident but hid the evidence. I found the evidence and questioned him. He looked into my eyes and denied it - despite the fact that it was obvious. I told him I knew the truth and he looked flustered. "I didn't want to get in trouble," he explained. Of course, who would want to get in trouble? No one. I reminded him that no matter what, I always love him. Even if he does something wrong, I do not love him less. He immediately relaxed and confessed. The next day, he spilled some milk and came running to me. "Mama, I made a mess. I'm telling you the truth." At least for now, he no longer feels the need to lie about messes because he knows my love is unconditional. 

Wait for the right moment to give correction
I recently read an article about a father who defines his parenting style as "Mary Poppins" - for every medicine (correction or discipline) he gives, he first makes sure to lay on the sugar (love). I found this to be such a brilliant way to look at parenting and how true it is! 

How often have you been corrected and, instead of allowing the advice to better yourself, felt only bitterness at having been corrected? Have you ever done 10 things right and received criticism on the one thing you did wrong? It doesn't feel good, does it? In any relationship, there will be a time where one person offers constructive (hopefully, it's constructive) criticism. The key to offering the advice without damaging the relationship or crushing the spirit is to be careful attention to when you offer the criticism. Whether it's a spouse or child, how you to choose to give criticism or correction can really affect your relationship.  No one wants to be corrected in front of a whole group of people; if you can, pull aside your partner or child and speak privately. Don't add embarrassment to the issue at hand. 

Set them up to win
Setting up your spouse/friend/child to win is a great way to strengthen your relationship.  Why does this work? When you support someone, they feel encouraged, motivated, and loved by you which in turn creates a stronger bond between the two of you. This doesn't have to be anything extravagant; support can be something as simple as making their day easier.

• At night, prep the coffee pot. When your spouse wakes up, coffee is ready to help them get their day rolling. 
• Encourage your spouse to invest time in their favorite hobbies. 
• If your child plays an instrument, support them by encouraging practicing. Ask to hear their latest song. 
• Attend as many extracurricular activities as you can, but lay off the iPhone. Super-fan your kid. Avoid griping about driving them to practices, griping about driving can make children feel guilty for engaging in sports or after-school activities.  
• Create a comfortable environment for after-school homework. Teach your child the importance of an organized desk. Set them up for success. 
• If you can, make lunches the night before. It's one easy way to reduce morning stress levels. 

Learn their love language (and yours too while you're at it)
One of my favorite family-oriented books is the Love Language series by Gary Chapman. The premise of these books is that every experiences love in difference "languages." Learning the love language of your son, daughter, or spouse can dramatically affect your relationship. 

My older son's love language is quality time, and I see instantly how he is transformed by some good ol' one-on-one time. It doesn't matter if I buy him a boatload of new toys or spend 5 hours in the kitchen making him his favorite food or praising him for an hour, nothing says "I love you" (to him) like getting on the floor and playing trains or puzzles or building with Lincoln Logs. 

What are ways that you implement these four tips? Comment below! 

Study after study reveals what our grandparents knew: the importance of family dinners. In fact, many studies reference family dinner attendance as a key factor in how happy a family is. A study from the University of Florida illustrated just exactly how a family dinner affects a family:

• Families that eat dinner together are more likely to have healthier diets: families who regularly ate dinner together consumed more servings of fruits and vegetables and dietary fiber than families that ate separately.
• Children experience less psychological problems (i.e. less emotional distress)
• Children in families that regularly eat dinner together had more positive peer relationships and were less likely to engage in risky behaviors or hold negative peer relationships
• Increased communication between family members
• Overall more emotional stability in the family
• Better school performance and higher self-esteem

The research clearly shows just how beneficial family dinners are, but it's not always easy to gather around the table. Between hectic schedules, extracurricular activities, and the end-of-the-day meltdowns, dinner is often one of the loudest, craziest, exhausting, and emotionally draining times of the day. It seems that as soon as I declare that I am headed to the kitchen to make dinner, someone poops his diaper, someone else begins to whine that he's hungry, there's a small human clinging to my leg and begging to be held, and I just remembered that I didn't thaw the chicken yet. It's seems counterproductive to go through all the hassle only to end up grumpy and sweaty at the dinner table.

Use these tips and you'll be sure to make it to the family table more often and with less stress.

Plan ahead
If you know that you'll be getting home late, try a crock pot recipe. Set it up in the morning and you'll have dinner ready the minute you get home.

Use meal planning
Not only does meal planning make your grocery shopping more efficient, but you'll save money too because if you have a plan, you're less likely to just throw stuff in the cart. When you know what you're making, dinner is less stressful. No more last minute wondering what to throw together.

Give small tasks to your littlest children
Little ones can fetch milk from the fridge or beans from the pantry, stir a batter, open a new package of butter, or even set the table. All of these are easy for small children and helps them feel involved.

Give age-appropriate tasks to older children
Once you've taught your child to properly use a knife, let them chop veggies. Not only will this help you get dinner on the table faster, but it gives you ample time to chat with your son or daughter about his/her day.

Choose recipes carefully
A common dinner battle centers on the dish itself. If you know your children truly do not like Thai food, skip it. If you're not short on time, whip up an alternative for kids who don't like the spiciness. For instance, keep the sauce of a stir-fry and let each family member have the choice to ladle on the sauce or forgo it.

Clean up time
Assign everyone one task for cleanup and the after-dinner cleaning will go by much quicker. You're more likely to eat together if the clean-up isn't a time-consuming task for one parent every night.

Prepare for picky eaters
Fighting a picky eater is just a recipe for disaster. According to a study in the scientific journal Appetite, researchers continue to point out that picky eating is normal. In fact, up to 39% of kids are labled as "picky eaters" at some point in their childhood, although most pickiness starts to decline by age 6. So what to do until then? Try never to yell or fight about food; check out these tips for handing picky eating with respect.


What is one way you make family dinners a priority? How do you get to the table without feeling stressed? Comment below!