katie trudeau
  • Home
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • As Seen On
  • Community
  • Podcast
Need to Recharge? Find Inspiration?

the blog & podcast to help you live joyfully

We provide inspiration, wisdom, and courage. Cor Domum helps you navigate through life so that you can parent with joy.

All Behaved Out: Why Kids Save Their Worst Behavior for Their Parents

12/29/2016

1 Comment

 
Picture
My oldest son had just come home from a playdate with his Memaw. As my mom dropped him off, she beamed at how good he was. He was polite and chipper and chatty. They played, did arts and crafts, and went out for lunch. It was the perfect day and my boy had been angelic. 

So you can imagine my surprise when he started running and screaming and having a meltdown. My mom stared in disbelief and said, "Wow. He was so good today." 

I knew what was happening, though. I had seen it before. The dreaded I-was-good-for-other-people-but-now-I'm-gonna-meltdown-for-Mommy syndrome. What gives? I want to be greeted with kisses and hugs - not meltdowns! 

But here's the thing: being good is exhausting

Being good and following the rules and listening to the adults is hard work. Exhausting work. It takes so much energy for young kids to be "on their best behavior" that when they come home, they are just over it. 

And my son hit the nail on the head. I set him on his bed, thinking that some quiet time with a book or a cuddle could recharge his mood. I asked him, "What's wrong? Why did you spiral out of control?" 

His answer made my jaw drop: "I'm all behaved out. Being good was hard work and I'm really tired." 

Of course, it was. 

So I tucked my little guy in and he got some very needed rest. 

Three things to know about why kids reserve their worst behavior for us

If, at first, it hurts yours feelings that your son or daughter saves all their best behavior for others and then unleashes the dragon on you, fear not. Here's some helpful info to remember.
  • It's normal! Simply knowing you are not alone can help to alleviate the frustration (even just a little bit).
  • Your child trusts you: Child psychologists are quick to note that a child who feels secure enough to reveal his true self feels unconditionally loved by that parent. It's as if a child is thinking, "Well, I know Daddy loves me no matter what. I need to vent, I need to just let it all out and I know Daddy loves me anyway." Think of it as a compliment. 
  • Make the adjustment easier for your child. Maybe some alone time in his/her room is what your child would like as he works through his emotions. Other children may desire a parent's company. Sometimes just physically sitting next to each other is enough. Let your child lead. 

Does your child behave well for others and save the crazy stuff for you? What do you do? How do you make the transition easier for your child? 
1 Comment
Patricia Trudeau link
12/29/2016 06:00:00 pm

Not only was this written with a smooth, clear momentum, but it is so true! Thank you for your wisdom and reminders.

~from a mother if 3 grown boy/men and grandmother of 5.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    About Katie

    Wife & Mama with a passion for peaceful parenting, natural living, homeschooling... and my daily café au lait.

    Picture

    Archives

    July 2020
    June 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    September 2019
    August 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    October 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    October 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016

    Categories

    All
    100 Days
    30 Day Letter Challenge
    Attachment Parenting
    Babywearing
    Book Reviews
    Books
    Essential Oils
    Fatherhood
    Freedom Journal
    Guest Post
    Homeschool
    Life
    Marriage
    Motherhood
    Motivational
    Parenthood
    Peaceful Parenting
    Real Food
    Recipes
    Toddler Life

© COPYRIGHT 2015. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Photo used under Creative Commons from shixart1985
  • Home
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • As Seen On
  • Community
  • Podcast