Letter #18: To the person I wish I could be

Dear Mom-who-has-it-all-together,
 
You’re who I want to be. Every day I get the chance to be you. Every day I get the chance to be the most involved mama, the most gentle and loving mama who doesn’t yell or lose patience. Every day I get the chance to make gourmet meals, invent the most fun, educational games, and clean the house with the enthusiasm of Snow White and her forest friends.
 
But every day I fall short on one of those dreams. My house is clean and the kids are bored. The house is a disaster zone and the kids are happy. Amazing homemade food and DIY  house products are whipped up, but then kitchen is a mess.  I wish I could have it all. But in life, I realize, no one can have it all. Our time is so limited and just by the nature of choosing one activity, we are simultaneously choosing not to do something else. Seems obvious. But when you try to balance it all… it frequently leaves me feeling like a failure. The thing is, I’m not a failure. Nobody is making cook each meal from scratch and clean the house top to bottom and homeschool our kids and and and and. No body…except me. So how about I get my crap together and stop blaming myself for not accomplishing the impossible and focus on the possible? How about I set reasonable goals and stop obsessing over it all? How about I just enjoy the time I have with my kids while they are still “kids” and let the dust stare at me.
 
I now think that “having it together” is a frame of mind. Is my mind a peaceful place? Not when I obsess over what I cannot do in one day. I’m going to get my thoughts together and be a happy mama.
 
Because that’s who I want to be: the happy, joyful, carefree Mama that I know is inside of me.